Long ago before the existence of
man lived two entities, Fama and Oolak. Fama represented purity, loyalty, and
everything good in the world. On the other hand, Oolak stood for chaos,
darkness, and everything evil. The two fought over power for millions of years,
until the first man and woman appeared. Tired from fighting for a few
millennia, Fama and Oolak agreed on a truce to study this new species of their
world. At the first glimpse of one another, the man and woman began fighting.
Fama and Oolak concluded that the energy of their quarrelling for millions of
years created these two beings. The man, who Fama named Brahma, stood for all
the same values she did. While the woman, who Oolak named Ravana, represented
chaos and evil much like he. As Brahma and Ravana continued to fight the
all-powerful entities began to fade. Before perishing, Fama and Oolak secretly
gave their favored humans powers. Fama gave Brahma the power to control all
things heavenly such as air and water. Oolak gave Ravana the power of destruction,
such as manipulation of fire and light. In addition to their powers, both
humans were given a spouse named after the entities themselves. As the years of
fighting went on Brahma and Ravana grew weak. One final battle killed them both
and as a result more humans were created from the energy. Those who followed
Brahma resided in Koshala, ruled by King Dasharatha. Those born from the dark
energy of Ravana dwelled in the city of Mithja, ruled by King Tanaka.
The
battle of light and dark continued between the two great cities for years. The
two cities were suffering greatly from constant war, the two kings decided a
truce must be created or both would perish. It was decided that the only way to
join the two kingdoms was by marriage and the birth of infants who shared mixed
energy of Fama and Oolak. Both kings each had an unmarried son and daughter.
King Dasharatha’s son, Filaf, married King Tanaka’s daughter, Sathra. The new couple consummated the marriage and
nine months later twins were born. The boy was named Rama and the girl was
named Jara. King Tanaka’s son married King Dasharatha’s daughter and the two
also had twins. The boy was named Kaloo and the girl was named Tali. For ten
years there was peace in the lands of Mythra, until the pairs of twins began
showing odd abilities. The young and fair skinned boy, Rama was able to
manipulate the air. His sister, Jara, had beautiful skin as dark as night was
able to take the light from the sky and expel it from her glowing eyes. King
Tanaka’s grandson, Kaloo, was known as the runt of the family. He was very slim
and rather short with the temper of a wild boar. His control of fire was
discovered when he burned down the local market during one of his tantrums.
Tali was the opposite of her brother, Kaloo. She smiled and had a bubbly but
clumsy personality. It was discovered she could control water when she tripped
over a fishing rod and fell into the lake. Instead of falling into the water
she landed on it as if it were solid ground.
The twin siblings began to grow
apart with age. Constantly fighting and destroying the great-unified city
reminded the people of old times. Protests soon turned into riots as the
destruction caused by the siblings grew. The aging Kings held a meeting and
decided to exile their grandkids to the wilds and not come back until their
quarreling was ended. At the age of 16 the four teens were separately banished
to the far corners of the earth. Rama was sent to the volcanic islands,
Golpitha, where the air was tainted with sulfur. Jara was exiled to the
northern glaciers where light only shined for a couple hours per day. Kaloo was
banished to the southern islands of Pergona, where it rained 20 hours each day.
Tali was sent to the vast and dry Sathar Desert, where the scorched sands would
suck any moisture out of the air.
"Light vs Dark" by AG-Wing, Source: DeviantArt
Bibliography
This story is loosely based off the stories of Ramayana. This story focuses on two cities and an avatar named Rama. Rama is fierce with a bow and kills many dark creatures. He ends up marrying the kings daughter after completing the challenge of breaking the sacred bow. Rama is soon exiled by his father for fourteen years. Fortunately for Rama, his wife Sita and brother accompany him. I used some characters from this story and ideas of dark and light to fuel the overlying theme.
Vann, I really loved your interpretation of these characters as well as your writing style. It is very detailed and I have no trouble imagining in my head of the action that you describe! I’m very interested in how you choose the theme of light and dark, it was a very interesting take. I look forward to reading more!
ReplyDeleteVann,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading the story, as I have background knowledge about it. I like how you brought in the concept of the appearance of the first man and women – it immediately reminded me of the book Genesis in the Bible.
I wonder what happened at the end of the story? Was there finally peace? What happened to Tali and Kaloo? Maybe you can give the reader more insight into what happened afterward.
What if, instead of indenting your paragraphs, you start a new one by leaving more space in between? Although it is fun to read, it is difficult to follow, because the reader can easily get lost. You have done a good job with characterization, but you could improve your story by giving more details. Maybe explain what they look like? Also, you did not use any dialogue in your story. Maybe the story would benefit from this?
My favorite part about your story was your usage of similes. The battles reminded me of the Divergent books I read. There is a lot of nature involved in your story, and that also reminded me of Divergent. Your story was a great twist on the original story with a hint of the elements from Divergent. I think these flashbacks are why I enjoyed your post.
ReplyDelete