Fifteen days have passed on an imperial boat. The young Rama is shackled and heavily guarded in route to his new "home". The gaseous air floating above the blue waters of the Golpitha islands burned Rama's lungs. Rama did not resist, he accepted his temporary sentence with honor. Despite the poisonous air, the island was beautiful in its own regard. The black volcanic soil and clear waters provided a plentiful habitat for the tropical creatures. The shackles were unchained and Rama swam to shore, leaving the only faces he would see for the next five years behind. Upon reaching the black sandy shore, Rama had an odd feeling about the volcanic island. "Something is off, something is too perfect about this so called prison", Rama thought to himself. Rama decided not to explore do the receding sunlight and made camp on the shore. Exhausted from the long journey, Rama quickly fell asleep.
"What are you doing here!", boomed a deep voice. Rama was surrounded in a dark fog, unable to speak out to the monstrous voice. "I sense something in you I have not felt in a long long time", said the dark fog surrounding Rama. Rama tried to run but his legs were thigh deep in the cold black sand. The fog closed in, seeping into his nose and lungs. The voice grew louder and louder, ringing Rama's ears. "Boom!" Rama woke in an instant, clothes drenched in sweat desperately trying to gather himself. "Boom!" What Rama thought was the voice from his slumber was coming from the heart of the island. The ground began to shake, and the lightening revealed what was hidden in the night sky. The volcano was pouring smoke from its highest point. "BOOM!" Rama looked up to see a blinding explosion. The volcano blew molten lava from its mouth, spewing hot rock and ash over the island. The trees surrounding the volcano began to smoke; the smoke soon turned to flames as the lava cascaded over them. With the lava fast approaching, Rama began to run towards the second highest hill on the island. The heat scorching his heels and back reminded him of his evil cousin, Kaloo. The hill Rama had seen from a distance was no hill, but a rocky jagged cliff. Rama tried manipulating the air to lift him higher into the face of the cliff but the heavy gaseous air was something he had never experienced. The lava was approaching fast, only a few yards away. He began to climb the loose jagged rock. The lava splashed against the cliff a couple yards below him. He leaped upwards to a notch in the cliff but his weight broke the loose rock. Holding on with one arm, his grip began to slip. Rama's sweaty palm finally slipped from the rock and he tumbled down towards the molten rock. In his head he heard the booming voice from his nightmare, "HAHAHA" yelled the deep voice. Rama was not ready to die but began accepting his fate. Out of the corner of his eye, a swooping figure snagged Rama's arm lifting him away from the lava. The gaseous air blurred Rama's vision but cleared for a split second. To Rama's surprise, a large man stood above him. Upon further inspection, the "man" had long dark fur and hands twice the size of his own. "My name is Faboo, come with me."
"Faboo" Source: Wikipedia
Bibliography
This story is loosely based off the stories of Ramayana. This story focuses on two cities and an avatar named Rama. Rama is fierce with a bow and kills many dark creatures. He ends up marrying the kings daughter after completing the challenge of breaking the sacred bow. Rama is soon exiled by his father for fourteen years. Fortunately for Rama, his wife Sita and brother accompany him. I used some characters from this story and ideas of dark and light to fuel the overlying theme. In his exile, Rama makes a new friend who is a monkey like human named Hanuman.
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ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your story. It kind of reminded me of a mix between King Kong and the story of Rama. The use of description really helped paint the setting of the island as a dark, cold place. I thought it was really interesting how you transformed the original story into something we would probably watch in a movie theater today. Good read.
You have done well at depicting the setting and drawing me into a volcanic island. Your descriptions are vivid enough to make me "feel" worried for him. I am glad that you put the image at the end of your blog because it surprised me that Faboo was who/what he was. At first I thought it might be a different form of Garuda swooping in to save Rama.
ReplyDeleteYour story reminded me of a combination of The Arrow and Hunger Games, with the island and violence themes. I liked how the story was told because the intensity was very evident as Rama was awoken by the loud noises and is running through the island. I also enjoyed the imagery with the "the heat scorching his heels and back," because it was very vivid. Overall, great story and I'm excited to read more of your stories!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your story—especially the usage of onomatopoeia. It made your story come to life, and I felt the intensity you were trying to get across with your words. The suspense buildup for your ending set the stage for Faboo’s presence. I thought your word usage was great in describing imagery, as well. It was a definitely a good read!
ReplyDeleteVery intriguing story Vann! I really like how you used the light and dark theme with the volcano. The moment where Rama woke up to the fire reminded me a lot of a scene from the hunger games so it was easy for me to visualize what all was happening. I also liked your Faboo character. You did a good job with the anticipation effect, because during most of the story I was just excited to get introduced to Faboo. Good job!
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ReplyDeleteI like how meticulous you were in your descriptions with Rama's imprisonment, the time in which he traveled on the imperial boat, and how the volcano erupted. I really enjoyed reading your story and felt as though it could be apart of an action movie. I really think that it would be great to lengthen this story and create chapters.
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